I used to watch the Batman cartoons back when I was a kid. Anyway, there was this one episode where Scarecrow gets into everyone's head and torments them using some sort of biological warfare. (Sounds familiar, right) He basically would scare the crap out of them and make them do things.
Well, the Scarecrow tried that shit on Bruce Wayne and it failed. You see, the Scarecrow was saying things like, "You'll be never escape Bruce..." Well, Batman fights off the fear gas and wins. Later, Robin asks him, "How did you know you were under control? How did you beat him?"
Batman Replies, "Because when I think to myself, I don't call myself Bruce Wayne. I'm Batman."
I really thought that was a sweet episode. Who do you call yourself when you are thinking about things? Do women think, "Okay, Wonder Woman, lets do this."? Do other guys say, "Alright Magyver, you can figure this out."?
Do any of you guys refer to yourself as different people? (Hey Dumbass, don't screw this up. Okay Buddy, let's do this! Don't listen to him, Dumbass, you're an idiot. FLAME OFF!) Do you have angel/demon debates with different voices? All I'm saying is, maybe you should get some help.
My point is. How crazy is too crazy? Obviously Bruce Wayne had some issues, but I think Batman had his shit together. Wait, what?
Sincerely,
Lawtonious "Don't listen to this Dumbass" Funk
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Live Show Recording
I bought a Belkin TuneTalk voice recorder and used it to record my show at the Tipsy Teapot last weekend. After much heartache, I figured out how to get music off of an Ipod, and I retrieved the 2.5 hours of music I recorded. Well, thus far, I have listened to a couple songs. The recording sounds okay except every now and then there is a high pitched screeching sound.
Needless to say, this will not do. I'm looking into buying a different recording device. I like the Zoom H4, but I haven't really researched anything. Also, I don't have $250 lying around for a recorder. So, I'll probably continue to use the Tunetalk so that I can review shows and improve (hopefully) my performance.
I will still post a few recordings on my reverbnation.com site. I was going to put these up only for fans, but since the records have their faults, I'll probably allow them for anyone to download. Currently, songs from "Blue Horizons" and "Lava Lamp (Acoustic)" are on the site for streaming only.
I'll post again when I get some songs uploaded.
Sincerely,
Lawtonious "SCREEECH" Funk
Needless to say, this will not do. I'm looking into buying a different recording device. I like the Zoom H4, but I haven't really researched anything. Also, I don't have $250 lying around for a recorder. So, I'll probably continue to use the Tunetalk so that I can review shows and improve (hopefully) my performance.
I will still post a few recordings on my reverbnation.com site. I was going to put these up only for fans, but since the records have their faults, I'll probably allow them for anyone to download. Currently, songs from "Blue Horizons" and "Lava Lamp (Acoustic)" are on the site for streaming only.
I'll post again when I get some songs uploaded.
Sincerely,
Lawtonious "SCREEECH" Funk
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Awesome.
I want to find this trail . . . and watch someone else ride it. (Hey, you've seen the whole of my jumping abilities below.)
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Monday, May 04, 2009
New Music for Fans
So,
My new music site is reverbnation.com/willlawton. If you notice the music player on the right does not have as many songs as it used to. Well, you can still listen to most of that music. If you go to my reverbnation site and sign up as a fan, you'll be able to stream/download fan exclusive music. As of right now, the entire new album, "Lava Lamp (Acoustic)" is available for fans (streaming only.)
I will add unreleased songs and live performances for download as I play shows. So, if you'd like to get new version of "The Beer Song" or unreleased songs (Big Jim, Ramshackle Blues, etc) all you have to do is sign up as a fan.
I would think that you wouldn't want to sign up because no one wants a spam email every week from some starving artist. Well, to date, I have sent four official newletters (since 1999). That adds up to less than one email every two years. I have no plans on harrassing my fans and friends.
So, check the reverbnation site for the latest music, and check back here for updates on the status of "Lava Lamp (Acoustic)." I should be getting the album in a couple weeks, and it should be available on line a few weeks after that.
You have my gratitude,
Lawtonious Funk
My new music site is reverbnation.com/willlawton. If you notice the music player on the right does not have as many songs as it used to. Well, you can still listen to most of that music. If you go to my reverbnation site and sign up as a fan, you'll be able to stream/download fan exclusive music. As of right now, the entire new album, "Lava Lamp (Acoustic)" is available for fans (streaming only.)
I will add unreleased songs and live performances for download as I play shows. So, if you'd like to get new version of "The Beer Song" or unreleased songs (Big Jim, Ramshackle Blues, etc) all you have to do is sign up as a fan.
I would think that you wouldn't want to sign up because no one wants a spam email every week from some starving artist. Well, to date, I have sent four official newletters (since 1999). That adds up to less than one email every two years. I have no plans on harrassing my fans and friends.
So, check the reverbnation site for the latest music, and check back here for updates on the status of "Lava Lamp (Acoustic)." I should be getting the album in a couple weeks, and it should be available on line a few weeks after that.
You have my gratitude,
Lawtonious Funk
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Friday, April 24, 2009
Blue Clay Trails - Wilmington, NC
Here are a couple pictures of a trip Kyle, Casey, Heather, and I took to Blue Clay trails. You can check out the rest on facebook. These sum up my stunting ability. No, really, that's all I got. If you want to see some cool stunts. Check out the pictures of Kyle.
I'm a lot better at log piles now.
I'm a lot better at log piles now.
I believe I can fly!You wish you had my skillz.
Sincerely,
Lawtonious "Air" Funk
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Recording of the Acoustic Album is Finished!
The Lava Lamp (Acoustic) album is almost completely done! I have finished recording all of the songs, and most of the artwork is for the cover is complete. If you'd like to hear a rough cut of the music, you can listen to the entire album on the sidebar player. If you go to reverbnation.com/willlawton (or just click the wah-wah pedal) you can see read all of the lyrics as well. I am still refining the mastering so some of the volume/pan/effects of the tracks will be touched up (think DMB's Lilleywhite Sessions vs. Busted Stuff) .
For as much as I built this album up in my head, recording was surprisingly easy. I guess I've been performing most of these songs for a fewyears. Of course, I wrote and recorded, "Wild and Free" from 1:30 to 3:30AM on a Saturday. So, the acoustic version you hear of it is basically the first time the song was played. I like to record songs as I write them because I can capture the feel of the song even if I don't have all of the lyrics/chords, yet.
"Southern Groove" is also a completely new song on the album. I have been kicking around the idea of having a good southern fried funk song on the album with a cool harmonica part and a slide guitar for quite a while. I actually wrote the hook for SG a few months ago, and forgot it. We were headed out to see a movie, and I didn't record a rough track of it - just like that it was gone. This was pretty upsetting for me because I hadn't written a line of music in two years. At the time Cyndi implied it sounded like crap and didn't really understand why I was brandishing a frying pan and screaming like a lunatic, but she only heard what I was actually playing which was far worse than what I was attempting to play;) The night my sister went into labor, it came back. Being that I was in a great mood, I wanted to write about what makes me happy . . . This happened at about 11:00PM while Cyndi was sleeping downstairs (getting up at 5 to go to work.) I wasn't going to screw up and forget this one without recording it first. So, I recorded a couple guitar parts as quietly as I could. I stumbled on the a cool guitar lick for the verses and that was all she wrote.
I'll be sure to let you all know when/where the album will be available for purchase. I will only be making 100 CD's of the acoustic album to start out as I have to save money for the little Funker in my wife's belly.
You have my gratitude,
Lawtonious Funk
For as much as I built this album up in my head, recording was surprisingly easy. I guess I've been performing most of these songs for a fewyears. Of course, I wrote and recorded, "Wild and Free" from 1:30 to 3:30AM on a Saturday. So, the acoustic version you hear of it is basically the first time the song was played. I like to record songs as I write them because I can capture the feel of the song even if I don't have all of the lyrics/chords, yet.
"Southern Groove" is also a completely new song on the album. I have been kicking around the idea of having a good southern fried funk song on the album with a cool harmonica part and a slide guitar for quite a while. I actually wrote the hook for SG a few months ago, and forgot it. We were headed out to see a movie, and I didn't record a rough track of it - just like that it was gone. This was pretty upsetting for me because I hadn't written a line of music in two years. At the time Cyndi implied it sounded like crap and didn't really understand why I was brandishing a frying pan and screaming like a lunatic, but she only heard what I was actually playing which was far worse than what I was attempting to play;) The night my sister went into labor, it came back. Being that I was in a great mood, I wanted to write about what makes me happy . . . This happened at about 11:00PM while Cyndi was sleeping downstairs (getting up at 5 to go to work.) I wasn't going to screw up and forget this one without recording it first. So, I recorded a couple guitar parts as quietly as I could. I stumbled on the a cool guitar lick for the verses and that was all she wrote.
I'll be sure to let you all know when/where the album will be available for purchase. I will only be making 100 CD's of the acoustic album to start out as I have to save money for the little Funker in my wife's belly.
You have my gratitude,
Lawtonious Funk
Monday, April 06, 2009
Oh, No, Not Again . . .
So,
One of the guys at work always listens to music on youtube. Well, he kept downloading and playing Joe Cocker's version of "A little Help From My Friends."
It made me think, "I kind of like this song. Wasn't this the theme song to-DAMN IT! KEVIN NEVER GOT WINNIE!! FUCKING WONDER YEARS."
That is all,
Lawtonious "It's just not right." Funk
One of the guys at work always listens to music on youtube. Well, he kept downloading and playing Joe Cocker's version of "A little Help From My Friends."
It made me think, "I kind of like this song. Wasn't this the theme song to-DAMN IT! KEVIN NEVER GOT WINNIE!! FUCKING WONDER YEARS."
That is all,
Lawtonious "It's just not right." Funk
The President's Speech at G20 (sans Teleprompter)
"So, an Indian, a Frenchman, and the Pope are all on a plane. The pilot says, "Hey, are any of you not circumcised?" So the Pope lifts up his robe and says, "Shut up, stupid! You don't even speak English!" The Israeli asks the Japanese guy to open his eyes, but the Japanese man says, "I'm not squinting you crazy Jew, you're the one who sold me these cheap glasses!" What's the difference between a Belgian and a lump of dog shit? The Belgian drinks wine, but the dog shit smells good."
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
Monday, March 30, 2009
Lava Lamp
I've recorded the acoustic version of Lava Lamp, the title track to my new album. You can listen to it in the window on the right. I am adding lyrics to the reverbnation site. In the meantime, here are the lyrics to Lava Lamp:
“Lava Lamp”
Will Lawton
I can see the way she turns the world around her soul to burn.
Twisting every movement to a sensual display.
Frolics in the night again intentions are so evident,
And all the boys are hoping they can be her next mistake.
He’ll walk her calmly to her car two blocks from the city bar,
Hoping for a motion of continued escapade.
She’ll ask him in when they get home, her roommate gone they’re all alone,
And timing’s such a hassle in this game of give and take.
Fostering in melting pieces
Bent and blended through the light
Heaven knows she looks so radiant tonight
Often yields an imitation
Of fallen pantomime
Captivated by sweet Aphrodite’s fire
She wakes to find the man is gone. He’s left his number on her phone,
The night before. She’s almost sure this time it won’t be fake.
She calls him up in seconds flat and gets the local Laundromat.
Suddenly, she finds she isn’t feeling very clean.
Falls for all the lines.
Wrong at every turn.
Don’t she know she’ll just get burned?
Sleeping in the fire.
Will she ever learn?
Don’t she know she’ll just get burned?
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
The Lava Lamp is Warming Up
As you can see, things have been changing in the world of Lawtonious Funk. I have updated my blog to reflect my new information regarding my new music site at reverbnation.com (click the wah-wah pedal.) "Lava Lamp" my upcoming new album is actually progressing. I will be releasing two cds. One will be the full blown album and the other will be a stripped down version of the music titled, "Lava Lamp (Naked)." As I record, I'll be posting my music to the music player on the left. So, you can stream any song you like to get a taste of what's to come.
I hope to have the acoustic CD done first and released in the next couple months. This will be a limited release used to promote the upcoming full band album. All songs will be available for purchase online as well.
Well, I have to get back to my day job. Working makes the time go by much faster:)
Sincerely,
Lawtonious Funk
I hope to have the acoustic CD done first and released in the next couple months. This will be a limited release used to promote the upcoming full band album. All songs will be available for purchase online as well.
Well, I have to get back to my day job. Working makes the time go by much faster:)
Sincerely,
Lawtonious Funk
Friday, March 13, 2009
Friday, January 30, 2009
Friday, January 09, 2009
Pole Position
After a bitter, cynical (hopefully humorous) post, I thought I should post something a little happier. Here's a commercial for Pole Position for Atari.
"It'll bust your crank, and leave skid marks on your soul."
Sincerely,
Lawtonious "He said 'crank' and 'skid marks' heh, heh" Funk
"It'll bust your crank, and leave skid marks on your soul."
Sincerely,
Lawtonious "He said 'crank' and 'skid marks' heh, heh" Funk
Monday, December 08, 2008
Male Virgins = Satan's Time Bombs
The other day Dr. Cyndi was talking about some guy she worked with and I said that there was something off about him, and I didn't like him. The following conversation followed:
Dr. Cyndi: Funk, you don't trust any guy that over the age of 16 and still a virgin.
Funk: Really? What makes you say that?
Dr. Cyndi: Think about it.
Funk: Look, the 21+ year old virgin guys from FCA and at MUSC all either 1. have date-rape-face or 2. look like they are going to start a Kool-aid cult . . . but on other hand, maybe you're right . . . Well, Scotter was a virgin before he got married and I trusted him.
Dr. Cyndi: Funk, Scotter told you about 20 sexual position jokes the first week you met him including the divot, the hairy monkey, the dirty Sanchez . . . he wasn't a virgin.
Funk: Okay, Okay, you're right. What does that mean if we have a son? How am I going to tell him to wait until marriage while I give him the "if you don't get laid soon, I'm kicking your date-rape-face-Kool-Aid-Cult ass out of my house" look?
That is all,
Lawtonious Funk
Dr. Cyndi: Funk, you don't trust any guy that over the age of 16 and still a virgin.
Funk: Really? What makes you say that?
Dr. Cyndi: Think about it.
Funk: Look, the 21+ year old virgin guys from FCA and at MUSC all either 1. have date-rape-face or 2. look like they are going to start a Kool-aid cult . . . but on other hand, maybe you're right . . . Well, Scotter was a virgin before he got married and I trusted him.
Dr. Cyndi: Funk, Scotter told you about 20 sexual position jokes the first week you met him including the divot, the hairy monkey, the dirty Sanchez . . . he wasn't a virgin.
Funk: Okay, Okay, you're right. What does that mean if we have a son? How am I going to tell him to wait until marriage while I give him the "if you don't get laid soon, I'm kicking your date-rape-face-Kool-Aid-Cult ass out of my house" look?
That is all,
Lawtonious Funk
Thursday, December 04, 2008
Christmas Vacation . . . Movies
It's that time of year. That special time when we all get to watch our favorite Christmas movies. Here are my top 5:1. Christmas Vacation
2. A Christmas Story
3. The Long Kiss Goodnight
4. It's a Wonderful Life
5. Die Hard
I also like the following:
1. A Christmas Carol
2. Scrooged
3. How the Grinch Stole Christmas (Cartoon)
I feel like I've been watching the same 3 movies year in and year out. Don't get me wrong. I'm totally watching Christmas Vacation again and I've already seen The Long Kiss Goodnight, but I want more. So, what's your favorite 5 Christmas movies? How about your least favorite?
Merry Christmas,
Lawtonious "Little Full - Lot of sap" Funk
Monday, November 03, 2008
JCVD
HOLY FUCK BALLS!!!!
NOT SINCE THE LEGIONNAIRE OR TIMECOP HAS JEAN-CLAUDE VAN DAMME KICKED THIS MUCH ASS. . . .
"Between his tax problems and his legal battle with his wife for the custody of his daughter, these are hard times for the action movie star who finds that even Steven Seagal has pinched a role from him! In JCVD, Jean-Claude Van Damme returns to the country of his birth to seek the peace and tranquility he can no longer enjoy in the United States. "
The man has taken a page from Ben Stiller's Tropic Thunder and is completely mocking himself. This is going to be fucking awesome.
Sincerely,
Lawtonious "Van Damme is the Van Halen of Kickboxing" Funk
NOT SINCE THE LEGIONNAIRE OR TIMECOP HAS JEAN-CLAUDE VAN DAMME KICKED THIS MUCH ASS. . . .
"Between his tax problems and his legal battle with his wife for the custody of his daughter, these are hard times for the action movie star who finds that even Steven Seagal has pinched a role from him! In JCVD, Jean-Claude Van Damme returns to the country of his birth to seek the peace and tranquility he can no longer enjoy in the United States. "
The man has taken a page from Ben Stiller's Tropic Thunder and is completely mocking himself. This is going to be fucking awesome.
Sincerely,
Lawtonious "Van Damme is the Van Halen of Kickboxing" Funk
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Batman: The Dark Knight
So,
Yeah, that's what it'd sound like.
Sincerely,
Lawtonious Funk
"Batman Begins" was on last night and I caught a little bit of it. Then, I thought about how cool "The Dark Knight" was. Well, it was cool except for one detail Literal Barrage brought up. Batman does the 'Scary' Batman voice way too much. Then, I thought, "What would the 'scary' voice Batman sound like while motorboating . . ."
"Blahb blahb, blahb, blahb, blahb, blahb, blahb, blahb, blahb, blahb, blahb, blahb, blahb, blahb"
"Blahb blahb, blahb, blahb, blahb, blahb, blahb, blahb, blahb, blahb, blahb, blahb, blahb, blahb"Yeah, that's what it'd sound like.
Sincerely,
Lawtonious Funk
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