. . . and I really think it’s just a prepubescent form of S&M. Now, here me out. I don’t use it like IM. I rarely talk to people on it. All I do is find people I know and ask if we’re friends. And people ask me if I will be their friend. Now, I’ve written on the occasional wall, but really, most of my time on facebook is what I referenced above.
So, all that goes through my head when I ask if some guy/girl I haven’t talked to in 5 to 10 years if he/she wants to be ‘facebook’ friends is “What if he/she says no?” If they say yes, I have one more ‘friend’ on facebook. So what? Who cares? End of the story. My existence has been validated. If they say no, I’ve allowed myself to shunned. I feel stupid and know that if I ever have a birthday party that bastard/bitch isn’t coming . . .that hasn’t actually happened, yet.
Now, if someone asks me if they want to be friends, I say yes. I try to remember where I know them from, and feel a little embarrassed if I don’t recall right away. So far, I swear I am only friends with one person I don’t know. Well, I’m pretty sure she doesn’t actually exist, but the picture is hot.
So, why does anyone put themselves though this? It’s like asking a girl to ‘go’ with you in 4th grade. You’re not going anywhere. It doesn’t mean anything, but for some sick reason, you ask. She says ‘yes’ and you ‘go’ together for maybe 3 days. Then, she dumps you and . . . you care. Your feelings are hurt. . . or she says no and you feel a little less valuable to the human race. I can vividly remember asking a girl out in elementary school and thinking, “What if she says yes? I don’t really know what to do with that. I’m nine.”
I guess it can be exciting in a masochistic way. The moments between becoming facebook friends with someone can be interesting. You think, “I wonder if Bob remembers me. He does owe me money. I bet he thinks I care about that. Why would I ask him to friends if I cared? That was ages ago. The sonofabitch better be my friend. It’s the least he can do for that 20 I loaned him. Oh, we’re friends. I wonder if he’s friends with anyone I used to be friends with. I’ll go check his page.”
Anyway, my sister Ginny and I are now facebook friends. So, I got that going for me.
Sincerely,
Lawtonious Funk
Music Headquarters
2 comments:
you went to facebook.....you went to facebook. What no mention of the off the wall batshit crazy comment over on DFIG?!?! What the hell was that? I was laughing my ass off missing the days of sitting at 300 Woodland just ranting in lunacy.
That was just a quote from American Psycho, but it's nice you think I'm that imaginative. Of course, it's more than a little disturbing that you think I'm that crazy.
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