A lot of you are probably wondering why I like this guy so much. Well, here goes my best answer.
- He’s a freak of nature beast that is scary to behold.
- Blocking: That’s right, blocking. When Jacoby Ford was in with Spiller and Davis, Cullen was abused. To get around ManBearPig, you better bring a friend, and guess what, Cullen is going to get a nice pass off before you get to him. This does not mean that I don’t think Ford is a great player. He simply cannot block as well as MBP. How many receivers can, though? Refer to point one for reasons why he blocks so well.
- Catching: When he’s wide open, he’ll catch that there ball. Okay, so he basically has to be wide open and undefended, but that does happen. Last year, you leave him open, he might catch it. Heck, he’d probably drop it, but not this year. No, no, no. This year he can catch (when loosely defended). MBP is getting left open because Tyler, Kelly, Spiller, and Davis play makers and they get special coverage. Everybody forgets MBP is not a lineman. (Hey, he’s been blocking all game.) Then, whammy! 6 yard gain! And when he makes his catch the opposing team’s defense thinks, “Great, WTF ARE WE GOING TO DO NOW!”
So, if I’m at a game screaming out MANBEARPIG like some drunken buffoon, please understand that he represents a team win to me, because if he’s getting action, our team is going to have a great day.
Sincerely,
Lawtonious “A popped collar doesn’t hide a redneck” Funk
Music Headquarters
1 comment:
#3 was hilarious
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