Are you enjoying the last days of your 20s? Make sure you don’t miss out on anything you wanted to do before you turned 30. Apparently, people notice ‘the change.’
I go mountain biking with guys in their twenties. One of them called me ‘Sir.’ I don’t really know what to do with that. It’s more than a little disturbing to me. I still think of myself as the guy that peed on his laundry when he drank too much, but that was 6 years ago. I think I may look respectable or something.. I don’t know, man. I just don’t get it. I did get carded by hot waitress the other day while on a business trip, but then I thought, “Oh, she knows I’m not really under 21. She just wants me to feel good about getting older so maybe I’ll give her a good tip.” Oh, I’ve also officially lost some of my hearing in my left ear.
What does this all mean? Do act grown up now? Am I now supposed to be shamed by my permanently infantile sense of humor? Should I conduct myself with a bit more professionalism at work? Should I make ‘plans?’
I can honestly say I was never in a big damn hurry to grow up. I’m sure other people were. They wanted big careers, prestigious jobs, marriage, children, etc. - all in some unwritten timeline. I never really had a timeline. I can say I really wanted to touch boobs as soon as possible. (Okay, I still do, but can you blame me? They’re great.) I’ve always wanted to be an Electrical Engineer, and now I am. I wasn’t in a hurry. I took my time getting there.
Is it the lines on my face and the strain in my eyes that command more respect? I don’t think my personality has changed too much. But maybe it has.
When I asked the guy, “Why are you calling me Sir?”
He said, “Oh, it’s just how I was raised.”
Part of me wanted to scream, “Well, FUCK YOU. That’s how I was raised.”
But I didn’t. I just said, “Yeah, don’t call me that. I’m Will.”
Sincerely,
Lawtonious “Van Halen wrote ‘Hot for Teacher’ when they were in their 30’s” Funk
Music Headquarters
3 comments:
shut up, you're ruining my last days in the 20's!
I get called 30+ on a regular basis until I lead the conversation to "How old do you think I am" so that I can say that I just turned 28. I get called sir and quickly respond as you did with, please don't call me that. I even had one girl not believe me so far as she asked to see my ID. It sucks but I think if I see her out again, I have a shot at touching her boobs, which would be cool.
It's nice to know I'm not alone. I'm just used to people thinking I look younger. I went straight from "You're not old enough to smoke" to "You're too old to stroke."
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