Man Vs. Wild

… is best show on television. I recommend you check it out. It’s on discovery channel and it is truly awesome. This guy gets dropped into remote places (Kenya, Alaska, The Rocky Mountains, the Moab Desert) with a bottle of water, a knife, and some flint. He has to survive and find his way to civilization. Edward Michael "Bear" Grylls, a former member of the British Special Forces, will have you ready to take on nature yourself.

On that note, I bring you an except from my last camping trip that took place several years ago:

FUNK VS WILD

“I have a knife, a bottle of water, some matches, a sleeping bag, a tent, a grill, a flashlight, enough food to feed a small army for a week, and some icy-hot for minor back pain. My job is to survive the night out in the woods hundreds of feet from my sport utility vehicle . . .”

(After having fallen down the mountain when my knees gave out)

Funk: “Shit! How am I supposed to climb with my legs when my legs don’t work”

Agent, Dr. Cyndi, and Jon: We’ll meet you back the campground when you’re done whining.

(In the middle of the night after having applied much needed icy-hot)

Funk: I smell like a peppermint patty. A bears going to eat me!

All: Shut up! We’re trying to sleep!

Wild: 1

Funk: 0

So, I have to go camping. I have to settle the score.

Sincerely,

Lawtonious Funk