The Simms

Back in college I picked up this game called the Simms. For those of you who haven't heard of it, you basically build a house, create a family, and give them jobs. You try to get them to interact socially in a city and grow as individuals.

Well, I totally sucked at this game. Agent Orange took the joy of playing at the same time as me, and his family grew and was successfull. Agent did everything right to build his family. Hell, he even made sure they were born at the right times of year so that there signs would match up. I never quite understood it, but he apparently knew what he was doing.

I did not. I did read the fine print when creating my family and building my house. One example of how I screwed up is that I gave the married couple one big bed. Little did I know that they had to grow to love each other in order to sleep in the same bed. Needless to say, Mr. Funk (oh, yeah, they were the Funks) - Mr. Funk never slept.

Now, I you can see how this would affect his everyday life. Work sucked for Funk because he was tired. His emotionless bitch of wife would do everything short of hitting them when they were around each other. . .but I digress. That wasn't even the biggest problem.

The biggest problem was that every now and then my family members would just start screaming. I had no idea why. They were just freaking out. Finally, Agent came by and was laughing at my family and said, "Oh, you're not socializing them enough." Apparently, you had to make them talk to each other and to other strangers. If they were too quiet for too long, they freaked out. Of course, being the social misanthropist I have always been, I had no clue how to do this, and I abandoned my family to their deaths after learning a hard social lesson.

People need to socialize. Even the guys like me who are basically too shy to talk to anyone new need to talk to someone or they freak out.

On that note, I'm living in Greenville NC. No one else I know is living here. My wife is working 80+ hours a week. When she gets home she has to study or sleep if she's just worked a 27 hour shift. Therefore, I'm freaking out. I can't wait to see all my friends at a game. I'm definately going to Furman, but it's hard to make a 6.5 hour trip too often.

Untill then,

Lawtonious "bwhaahhahhaa" Funk