Nothing aggravates me more than bloggers giving opinions without allowing comments. Niel Brooks, an incredible acoustic musician/activist I respect, has this fault. An opinion isn’t worth a hill of beans if it isn’t challenged, Niel. I have politely ignored your political posts for some time because I do not wish to make my blog a political soap box, but this is about music. So, read the following entry, and below, I will give my retort.
For the love of my sanity.
Tonight I hosted an open-mic night at a theatre, and during the course of the night, I came to several conclusions. One: I hate people. I've known that for quite some time, but I really and truly disdain people, especially stupid people. Two: John Mayer is the bane of my existence. If I had even a nickel for every time some white-capped fratty kid approached me and asked if I knew how to play any John Mayer songs, I could single handedly rescue most of Mississippi from itself. And, upon answering them with a very stern “fuck no”, they always give me that knowing nod as if to say “yeah, cause John is the fucking god of guitar and you could never hang.” And, invariably, they always offer to show me some of his songs. Like I give two shits. Three: most people who come to open-mic nights do so for only one purpose – to musically masturbate in front of their office buddies, and in doing so, hopefully hook up with the chick who works in 'receiving', the one with John Mayer and DMB stickers on her Jetta.Because sometimes I'm a little slow on the uptake, I just have to wonder about people. I mean, are these the same people that must listen intently everytime a flight attendant gives the “seat belt” routine? And, don't these people know that's shit? But, let me expound for second, because I've had a rough week. And, I certainly know that this subject isn't at all byzantine. But, to the slack-jawled crowd, and I'm implying that's about 98% of the “Mayer” contingent, this is the god-nectar of all that is sexy, and new, and inventive, and expressive. Seriously, y'all, a middle class white boy spewing bullshit jazz modes through his guitar and making whispery moanings about some creamy barbie's body and how much he would like to kiss every inch of it; or, even better, how much it hurt when she left, is total, complete, unmitigated, flat, out and out, arrant, masturbatory bullshit. The end. Go to bed.And, really, I'm normally quite tolerant of peoples' tastes in art. I make no comments when I walk into someone's home which is decorated in Thomas Kinkaid, or looks like a Pottery Barn truck drove through their living room and pooped everywhere. I hold that stuff in, very politely. However, circumstances this evening have led to thoughts of homicide and assault. I would like to note, though: there were about two artists there tonight who had their own style, embraced it (sometimes self-deprecatingly, which is fine with me), and I just adored listening to them perform, not that they should give two shits what I think.
posted by Niel Brooks @ 10:54 PM
One: Okay, so Niel hates people. I agree totally. I hate people, too-especially, pseudo-intellectual artistic know-it-alls. An inflated vocabulary and a BA may infer intellect, but it does not denote wisdom. I’ve met one too many pompous intellectuals with the maturity level of a 2 year old. An asswhole biting his tongue while a guest in someone’s home doesn’t get a cookie. He would be no different than a man with 3 illegitimate children happily proclaiming, “I pay my child support.” Oh, I’m happy you tolerate other artist who are clearly beneath you, dick.
Two: “John Mayer is the bane of my existence.” I sympathize with Niel on this one. I really do. I recently played an open mic night to get my name out and there was a guy butchering Jack Johnson, DMB, and John Mayer on a $3000 Taylor. My wife quietly held my hand as I cringed in disgust. He raped music that had bought me joy in order to fuck a resort owners daughter. I hate him more than I hate know-it-alls. However, this brings me to the real debate at hand.
Does pop music have its place artistically?
I have struggled with this through the years and finally come to the conclusion that is does. Now, I personally loathe “Your Body Is A Wonderland” because it is self serving ‘masturbatory bullshit.’ However, I do not believe that bubble gum music is worthless. There is an art to writing a simple love song that brings joy to others. Yes, you chew it up and spit it out, but for a time, it tastes great. Not every song can be an acquired taste. Not every acquired taste is good music. I personally have set goals to write fewer songs about love and death. Whereas, I aspire to write more than a simple love song, I also believe self-deprecating music is simply pop music for pessimists. This has given rise to new personal goals finding subjects other than the Big Two. This is more complicated than you would think. A song about murder = death. A song about a lost love = love/death. So, finding a different subject say racism, alienation, disheartenment, escape, gratitude, even beer or weed (but not so much) does seemingly yield more creative music.
It basically breaks down to this, everyone wants to say they’re a Lennon fan, but secretly loves McCartney, too. Put the two together and you get arguably the best band ever.
Bye the way Niel, the frat boy isn’t thinking “yeah, cause John is the fucking god of guitar and you could never hang.” He’s thinking, “Oh, you’re a prick.”
Sincerely,
Lawtonious Funk
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
McCartney Vs. Lennon - A Niel Brooks Retort
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6 comments:
you're right. thats exactly what the frat boy was thinking. your friend shouldnt look too into pop music-lovers' minds. pop is simple. no need to strain with thought. just take it as is. 'me like Mayer, Mayer sound goood.'
I play the bongos good. Yay me.
Wow, I don't have any friends that care about music.
Indded, bubble gum pop isn't entirely horrible. Does it all get a bit formulaic and old? Absolutely. But you're right, sometimes a simple song is all you need.
But, I think my problem is with the way the artists are suddenly given some kind of super-human treatment for making what is really mediocre music.
They aren't given superhuman treatment for their music. Their given superhuman treatment for making a video where they 'back it up' on some old dude on a plane. Speaking of Britney, I caught a glimpse of a Brit/Federline rockumentary. She was filming him while she was naked, and he was like, 'Be careful, the guys in the back of the bus might hear us.' Heh, heh.
Open mic nights are the bane of my existence. They're always full of such people. As a musician and also a music snob, I always feel a strange and confusing mixture of feelings when I witness such a sight, somewhere between loathing and pity. But then again, I played an absolutely horrific rendition of "Gin and Juice" about five or six years ago at an open mic at the Kickin' Chicken on King Street. Maybe I hate those people so much because I see where I used to be. Perhaps the same goes with Niel.
I consider Niel to be a friend of mine, but you're pretty much right. He does come across a bit like a jerk on that post. But that's not really a big deal; everyone does at times. I just think he should allow comments.
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